Monday, 10 March 2014

The Metamorphosis From Girl To Woman...

Oh mehn! Jingle bells, jingle bells...jingle all the way...oh what fun it is to ride on a one horse o...oh shit! That's a christmas carol, right? Hahahah...I'm sorry. You see, how awkward it is fawning over my own birthday. I don't even know what to sing to myself.

Yaaay! Its the 10th of March...the day this 'queen' was birthed 30 years ago...AHA! So whilst I opened my eyes expecting the chariot that was meant to pick me up from my bedroom to the bathroom to have my royal shower... I realised none arrived. I peak at my reflection in the mirror hoping for some magnificent change that may have occurred on my skin, the last 24 hours... I saw none. I'm checking my bed-side hoping for some ridiculously huge diamonds that may have magically turned up from a 'mysterious' prince charming seeking my love eternally. Hian! None in sight! Lol.

So I turn 30 years old today and my mole is pretty much still where it used to be. My breasts haven't reduced that much and oh my bank account is still bloody FLAT. What's going on na? Isn't this the 'Super-30' that's been making me antsy and giving me sleepless nights eh? The milestone that has had me checking every minute detail of my life so far?... Yes na! Where I get a thumps up or where I need some good ass spanking (get your minds out of the gutter... Hahaha...I mean the kinda spanking my mother used to give me when I was a teeny weeny toddler).

Dang! I have been taking stock of this 'store' I call my life...Pheeww! Its been a long bumpy rideeeeee. This little girl has experienced far too many things that will make even a 70 year old woman's cheeks 'flush' in embarrassment. But I'm grateful to God for opening my eyes, my heart and imparting wisdom that came on the wings of some of these experiences.

I've made a few mistakes...but wha-de-heck, I've made some great ACHIEVEMENTS as well...And that's what I want to celebrate, my 'Metamorphosis from Girl to Woman'. The immense growth I've acquired on the journey to self discovery. Have I reached my destination? Absolutely not!! I'm still in hot grimmy pursuit of HAPPINESS, even though I may have grown 'cold' trying to convince LOVE that I'm willing and ready. I have come to. accept that I am a born ARTISTE, I am no 'pushover', I am in no 'competition' with anyone but myself, I will always stay TRUE to my own beliefs and most importantly, I will never settle for less than I deserve cause I'm cut from the finest SILK fabric...And that's my final WORD on that!

I have wondered so many times how I could have let someone change the course of my life and distract me a little from a budding acting-career or how I allowed myself to take several detours without checking where those routes would lead to....Now, I have nobody to blame but myself, cos I made a few wrong CHOICES in the past. But guess what, I'm BACK older and waaaay WISER! I will NOT wonder if there are many who are as multi-talented or if anyone can be as passionate or dedicated to one's Art as I am or if I even need the stamp of approval from others to feel some-what worthy. I will NOT wonder why I haven't met my outlined goals set for when I turn 30 (abeg, forget the dream house, dream husband and the fabulous 2 kids) Ha! I will not wonder because I know I'm not the only one who feels this way on their birthdays, but if you listened to my Audio Diary 6 "Growth Versus Aging"... I have decided I will not focus on the small foolishness of adding another year..."The Fear of Aging"...instead, I shall concentrate on my Growth...

My last birthday, I didn't have this forum to express myself, I knew nothing about blogging neither did I ever suspect I would challenge myself so intensely. I didn't know I could use my mobile phone to create, design and develop a blog all by myself whilst still creating the content, neither did I know anything about java-scripts, applications, programmes or the intense social (ashawo) networking I've had to force myself to do in the last 50 days. Hehehe.

I am a single mother raising my child, running a home, paying my bills (even if they are sometimes late or difficult to) and respecting myself in the process. Is my life an 'owambe' party? Err...mba nu! But I'm yet to sell my dignity for 'kobo-kobo' aseobi that I will eventually use to mop the floor. Am I magically gracing the streets of every neighbourhood, hoping I will find some worthy 'customers' I can polish their TORSO or massage their 'waist' to rid myself of my growing responsibilities? Err...No!

Am I unduly courting the press, striking some hot 'photoshop' friendship with any set of 'A' class- celebrity cliques or kissing some dirty smelly 'cocks' to please the streets... And hopefully pray to get noticed. Hahaha!...how does that change the price of Pampers in the market? Oya! I'm not calling out the group of 'fake it till you make it', or those who've bought into their own HYPE and feel they are actually more important than they really are, or those who care more about the number of TWITTER followers, re-tweets or mentions they get rather than focus on the number of lives they actually touch or influence positively. Do you think you can inspire people just by pilfering quotes and pasting them on your social networks or websites? Or you think the number of movie posters you've saturated or music album covers you've sold automatically translates to the number of lives that depend on you for growth or you think your responsibility as a leader is simply relegated to chopping our tax payers funds while you do us "the more you look, the less you see". Eweee!!

Well, in the challenging world of today I have realised that...You can't just 'speak' inspiration, you have to BE inspiration...You have to be courageous enough to let people into your world to share in your defeat, as well as your triumph... And you don't need to be an 'A' class overtly hyped 'mufu' celebrity to be influential (Lol). This is the beginning of my own year (abeg january na beginning of calendar year) and hopefully that's the major goal of this blog ALEXANDRA N' HER NAKED THOUGHTS! to inspire and provoke your thoughts with my musings, no matter how random, raunchy or raucous it seems.

So 'thank you' to the gentleman friend who woke me up at 3am to sing a beautiful birthday medley and showered upon me, powerful birthday wishes or the many who have wished me well on facebook, twitter, BBM, Whatsapp and the many other social networks I TRY to interact on. Its words of people like these that remind me of my genuine PURPOSE in life and where I'm going to. I realise I have nothing to be ashamed of, I mean...I've done pretty well for a 30 year old woman...And for that I'm absolutely PROUD of myself so far....So if you're also proud of my Metamorphosis from Girl to Woman...Say Aye! Aye! And cling your 'virtual' glass of champagne. Lol. Remember, nobody said the journey will be easy...but if you're on the right track, it will be WORTH it for 'SHIZZLE' (Hahahah...sorry, i had to add that for effect...abeg make I act like small pikin joor). You know the drill na. Please (in my crispy oyinbo accent) Don't forget to comment and share. Lol.

Have An Absolutely Magnificent Monday Lovelies! And oh! I love you...Plenty Kisses!!!

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