Thursday, 20 March 2014

Funny Pix: One Size Too Many....

Hahahah...I'm not one to mock a 'plus' size person (stop rolling your eyes...or should I have said MAXIMUM size like she's some drop dead weight or computer programme? Hian!) Okay I'm assuming its a 'she'...because those mammarys don't look like 'man-breasts' to me...but even if I'm wrong as I have no way of checking its genitals, HAIR+BREASTS= SHE.

Anyway, when I saw this, my first thought was "Hell no, you've got to be kidding me...This can't be real, she has to be wearing a body suit." Until I zoomed in and saw all the 'fine lines'...oh sorry, you know it as STRETCH MARKS and its siblings. Now whilst my mother will love to slap that 'can drink' off her hands...I'm gonna praise her for a number of things I noticed.

#1) She is very Ballsy. (I mean the last time I took a naked picture that remotely looked like this, was NEVER. I'm yet to find my own balls there...hehehe.)

#2) She can sit yoga style...Aha! (Ask all the size 2-8 slimmys to try it. You wanna break somebody. (Even, I used to be able to cross my legs...Until...Ehen...Ray, where's my doctor's report?) Lol.

#3) This has to sort of be an 'IMAGE CAMPAIGN'... "Hey, Look at me...I'm FAT, I love Fanta and I'm Fantastic"...Hahaha...I mean she seems rather comfortable in her own skin, right? (But then again, na who's skin she wan dey comfortable inside? Hmm...You feel me ba.)

#4) She always has to carry her 'mobile' land-phone, with her... for EMERGENCY calls...just incase na...(Chai! Must I use my mouth to tell you everything?)

#5) She's very humble. (Can't you see...No need for a 'queen-size' poster bed abeg, as long as she has her drink, the mattress is just perfect on the floor. Lol)

So... Ehen! About that 'can drink', PLEASE DON'T BOTHER, this is a lost case. (Let's be honest) I mean what better way to commit SUICIDE than for an 'obese' woman to build intimacy with her can of soft drinks. I see only SWEEEEET death looming....Shio Kelebe!!! Hehehe.

Have A Terrific Thursday Lovelies! Kisses!

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