Tuesday, 4 February 2014

Distance...And The Perfect Match!

Recently, I've been playing SHRINK to my family friend Charlie (he'll kill me if I mention his real name) lol...who insists his wife of 7 years has fallen out of love with him. Whilst it is painful for any man to watch his partner 'fall out of love' with him and treat him like a stranger in his own home...I don't think she fell out of love, infact I don't think anyone does, especially since I don't believe people fall in love.

I belong to the school of thought that believes that people "Grow to Love" not fall in love...and that his wife simply grew to 'unlove' him. That's the truth because for something, someone or 'feelings' to GROW...you must FEED it, nuture it and nourish it. If you don't, it will only die. Same goes for love and relationships. And its no surprise to me at all, that his constant 'absence' put a strain on their marriage and his wife had simply figured a way to FUNCTION 'without' him. LOVE and NEED go together...you can inter-place need with 'value' if you may. How can you love something or someone you no longer need or have value for? Make any sense?! My Point Exactly! And there's nothing more notorious than 'distance' to put a strain on even the tightest bonds.

Some people think the longest absence might be less perilous to 'love' than the terrible trials of incessant 'proximity'... but I think the closest bonds are formed on the wings of PROXIMITY and the true test of every relationship is really in the TRIALS and 'strength' of that bond. Still the perfect match in my opinion, is a bond that can't be separated!

Some people say "absence makes the heart grow fonder", while its true in some cases, it also could make the heart grow colder...Distance might give you the space, FREEDOM to establish individuality and stop you both from irritating one another or getting in each other's business from time to time. But on the other hand, it could also INHIBIT you both from discovering all there is to know about your relationship 'together' as a team.

Anyone who's thinking long term knows that distance while it has it perks is a major hindrance to 'building' a solid relationship. Remember, everyone has basic needs and those 'NEEDS' requires someone to provide them. If your partner isn't emotionally, sexually, psychologically, financially, spiritually stable or otherwise and YOU are not physically, spiritually and emotionally 'PRESENT' to either 'provide' their needs or be their support system, then be SURE your partner is getting their needs met by someone else.

Note that your partner doesn't have sleep with someone else to cheat on you. If they are flirting, texting, spending time, receiving ominous gifts or confiding in someone else...they are already INVESTING part of themselves and that's half way there. And you can't blame them for not being strong enough because "Distance" really puts the strain on bonds.

Still If your love has been tested and you both have been through so many challenges in your relationship and its still not enough to tear you apart, because you 'both' have made a 'brave' CHOICE to keep it, fight for it and work for it. Now that's a 'perfect match' in my books! Have a Terrific Tuesday Lovelies! Kisses!

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