Tuesday, 21 January 2014

Penny Wise...Relationship Foolish!

Yesterday a good friend of mine I hadn't seen in a year plus showed up at mine, out of the blues... I was happy to see him even though he totally met me in my dishevelled state...(I was wearing slacks, a cardigan, sweat from slaving in the kitchen all morning, not a stitch of make up... And not even a bath too). Yes I was soaked in standard dirt... But see those who miss and care about you don't even notice those things.

Yes, OC (I'll keep his name short) showed up at mine with a friend of his Max and both nicely conspired to drag me somewhere around the neighbourhood for a drink. Well, I never hang out in the neighbourhood...infact I can't remember even hanging out anywhere at all in recent times except for those sparing moments when I have to wear my 'friendship' hat and duty calls... like Nina's Karaoke Thingy, Phemi's Bachelors Eve Shindig, or the other Femi's Birthday Mingling...You dig?! Let's not mention my failed attempt 2 weeks ago to see a movie with my friend Kay...hmm...an attempt in futility! Why? The Ikeja Mall was buzzing with Human traffic the size of Oshodi market, Tejuosho market, Aswani and Idumota market combined. Infact I was positive the Federal Government had deposited trailer loads of deported immigrants from other states. Heheheh! You should have seen the crowd. Any guy hustling for a babe is sure to pick up at least 3...Any babe hustling for a pick up, was sure to meet a guy to fulfill that need. It was a sight for sore eyes...and damn, my claustrophobic headlights were blinking, I was quietly choking being admist the crowd...(Afterall, there was not enough air to breathe since the crowd sucked in the little air available that hot sunny day).

Anyway this isn't about my misfortune during the new year celebration. Its about the breath of fresh air, OC and Max offered my poor unsocial soul. I begged to have a bath, perhaps a change of clothes, look like a human being, if not the starlet that I am. They were adamant and knew if they didn't drag me away immediately, I would come up with a very sufficient excuse to turn them down.

Well, I figured...you know what. Its just around the neighbourhood. What's the big deal? I could use a cold drink plus I hear Emeka is gonna be there as well...hmmm... So I hopped into the car, and we drove away. We got to the hang out spot and pulled out our table by the pool side. OC was gonna jump in for a little dip, there was one oyinbo (white) woman punishing her old sagged out skin under the hot sun reading a novel in the name of 'tanning'...And the three men with me had this theory that she's obviously the pun in some Nigerian guy's strategy...

Well the drinks roll in and I grab a bottle and a glass of Heineken (don't look at me...) I feed my threesome this theory I have that Heineken can substitute appropriately for water in a situation were drinking water is unvailable. Hence the argument of '33' being the labourers beer and Heineken premium beer, tripple filtered bla, bla, bla, (chei! see free advert o)...all the elements of advertising plus our opinions about it. Dang! How I've missed this...the round table beer parlour conversation...where people become passionate, philosophical and even somewhat intelligent. Oh yes! Beer does that! Hahahahah!

So I ask after a few old friends, we reminiscise about times past, discuss several series of issues, talked about my career, theirs, life and even relationships...but my biggest highpoint was the tale of one particular couple (both old friends of ours) who got divorced recently... And just how I never anticipated that could ever happen. They seemed the perfect couple. Dated for 10 years, married for 5 years...2 children and great jobs. They spent day and night...atleast almost every night together, if I remember. What could have gone wrong?

So Emeka came up with this theory that the man (Yomi) probably needed something else in his life...and regaled us with the tale of one particular incidence when they just got newly married. The lady (Ayo) was supposed to travel to Ibadan for a wedding and spend the entire weekend. Now Yomi was happy to have his wife, Ayo go out of town and had already arranged for his babe from Ife to come visiting. So he tells the guys that he's finally going to get a breather, some fresh juicy pom-pom...Ha! Badt guy...and ofcourse Emeka the principled friend advised him to book a hotel room for the girl, if at all he must cheat.

Mba...mba...mba! Trust Yomi na, he refused point blank. Why should he spend 10k for a room when his house is empty and madam will not be around till Sunday. A whole ten thousand naira, plus drinks, food and thank-you-for-coming. No way! That's too much of an investment for a man to get action from friday evening till sunday... So his wife Ayo goes to Ibadan on friday...girlfriend arrives friday evening, hangs with yomi and the guys over a few drinks and peppersoup and goes back home with him. Here, I shall leave friday night to your active imagination...Lol. Saturday morning, another one of Yomi's friends (Sola) stops over to do some ironing at his, (PHCN matter) ofcourse, doing his thing, minding his business and secretly wishing he was the one enjoying the freedom and benefits of one's wife being out of town...

Ofcourse no one was expecting Ayo until Sunday night...and his guy still has one more day to enjoy the taste of heaven...The thought hadn't even fested 5 minutes in his head, when he hears a click at the front door and in walks, Madam Ayo with her own keys in hand. Ha! Ye! Ha! Mo gbe! Ha! Not enough of that could come out of Sola's mouth as Yomi and the girlfriend rushed out of the bedroom to the living room to see what was amiss...there it was in full glory, His Wife Ayo standing there shocked to bones, seeing her half naked husband with a strange looking female wearing her clothes... All hell set loose... Its not what you think Ayo...Stop!...its not what you think...cries her husband Yomi...as Ayo pounces on the bitch wearing her clothes! Well, this is what I think...Cheating is an expensive investment. If you can't afford to pay the price, don't bother because one has to pay, one way or another... In this case, it was Penny Wise, Relationship Foolish! Or what do you think?

Have a Terrific Tuesday Lovelies!

Like ME On Facebook

BRAG Winter 2016

BRAG Winter 2016
Click To Get Your Copy..

Watch 'BETWEEN' Teaser Trailer

Watch 'BETWEEN' Teaser Trailer
Click To Watch First Official Trailer Starring Actress, Stella Damasus & Directed by Daniel Adenimokan

Follow My Posts On Facebook

Click To Partner With Me

Join My Support Community

Get The Naked Truth

Get The Naked Truth
A Witty Intimate Book That Offers Wisdom on Love, Life, Sex & Re-invention of Self

Catch My Radio Show Everywhere

Catch My Radio Show Everywhere
Click to Listen to The Best In Authentic Conversations

The Tony Okoroji Store

The Tony Okoroji Store
For The Best In All Round Entertainment Products ....

Get My NAKED Weekly

Get My NAKED Weekly
Click to Sign Up for My Weekly Updates & Monthly Love Letters

The Hair'volution Magazine

The Hair'volution Magazine
Give Your Hair A Voice

Read ME On Huffington Post

Read ME On Huffington Post
Click To Read New Articles There Every Monday

Find Out What People #AskAlex

Got A Question? #AskAlex

The Naked Talk Online Radio Show

Learn More About Me?

Learn More About Me?
Click To Visit My Official Website