Wednesday, 29 January 2014

Eyebrows...And The Artistry!

Mehn! I know people will do anything for a little ATTENTION or to stand out, but even I have to admit this last woman definitely drew me out...to the point I had to push aside whatever credible thought creeping my head...pick up my INK...and air my humble piece of mind once and for all about the sorry state of EYEBROWS in this country. Ha! Its distracting and no doubt funny, that the painters have refused to spare us the 'eccentricity' of their ARTISTRY. Ever seen an eyebrow drawn like an UNDULATED curve, shaped like a 'U', thick as a bush and sharp as a bread knife. Don't laugh! I'm serious...

I'm just about to beg the woman who just walked into this store, to cease giving us OPTICAL epilepsy, or my cousin who recently looks like she's been practising with CHARCOAL on her face or that singer who thinks its hot to have them lines running from ear to ear like a 'grin' in the wrong place or the friend with the very thin, very dark, crooked lines crafted upon her yellow oblong face (Err...by yellow...you know what I mean na) and she never wants to understand that she sorta looks like a drag queen on Independence day. Chai! Even my brother noticed sef! Nne, what's black KHOL doing on your face eh...and to top it all, she never forgets to match it up with black liners on her NUDE lips.

I have come to realise that most people don't really notice other peoples eyebrows like I do, especially since I'm usually focused on gazing into peoples eyes for CLUES that fire up my INSTINCTS on whether I can trust their body language or the words coming out of their mouths when we are engaged. Didn't someone say the eyes are the windows into the soul?...well...that kinda makes the eyebrows the window FRAMES. Yep! How many times have I begged Aisha to go brow-waxing...or better still pluck the old fashioned way or use the 5 naira RAZOR blade. Thick full eyebrows may be back in trend but not everything in trend is fashionable and not everything that appears fashionable is APPROPRIATE for you. I mean why would anyone wear brows thick enough-in-inches to give 'Iyanya' a bit of a lift? Ewoooo!! If you must draw attention to your brow atle
ast let it be flattering. You don't wanna be the gallery owner who's testing a newbie painter a night before exhibition and ends up with something that resembles vagina lips on top of your face. He he he...I know...that was way off. But isn't it way off when a pretty/handsome person suddenly decides in the pursuit to look even better, screws up the window frames holding the only WINDOW we get access to quickly preview their souls...Aha!

The Eyebrows are meant to frame the FACE, not frame the whole of Lagos State. If you think about it deeply, you can not say they're not trying to look their best...You can just say they are FAILING woefully and causing us DISTRESS. You get it now?! Well I have one advice...I will just say don't 'drink and sketch', and if you aren't skilled enough to sketch...then simply leave it there...bare...bare...No Stress!!

Have a Wonderful Wednesday, Lovelies! Kisses!

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